Let’s just get out of the way the single biggest reason why I can’t in good conscience rank this song any higher: it commits the unforgivable sin of rhyming “things” and “rings.” The Beatles had done it before with “Can’t Buy Me Love,” and almost did it twice more in 1965, on the underrated outtake “If You’ve Got Troubles” and an early Lennon-rejected draft of “Drive My Car.” John should have known to banish the cliche from this track as well, but then again, let’s just get out of the way the single biggest reason why I absolutely couldn’t rank this song any lower: that badass feedback intro.

Aside from that, this is your standard catchy Beatles 1964 fare. Maybe even a step backwards to be honest, certainly at least from a lyrical perspective. Why it was selected as the big Christmas single that year over “Eight Days a Week” is baffling to me (in the U.K. that is; in America, both songs became A-sides), and I think there are some superior gems on Beatles for Sale that deserve more accolades than “I Feel Fine,” which offers no real surprises beyond its first five seconds. Catchy riff though, and I love Ringo’s drumming here. Or should I say…Thingo.

“I refuse to play until Anthony apologizes for that horrible pun…and yet, I respect it.”